My Anxiety Arse-Kicking Kit

I’ve had anxiety all my life. Right from when I was born. I think I actually clung to the walls of my mother’s foo-foo screaming ‘WTF IS THIS?! DOES THIS THING DO REVERSE? AND WHAT’S THAT FURRY STUFF? I’M NOT READY FOR THIS CRAP!! MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!!

Or something along those lines…

I’ve had generalised anxiety disorder and health anxiety for years so I’m becoming somewhat of an expert in this particular area. In my quest to rid myself of this illness, I have scoured the internet for self-help tips. Some things work. Some things don’t but I’d like to share with you a few of the things that have worked for me in the hopes that YOU can find some respite from this SHITTY ILLNESS.

Here is my anxiety arse-kicking kit…

Podcasts

The clue is in the name. Anxiety Slayer gives you the tools to help calm anxiety, stress, PTSD, and panic attacks. It was started in 2009 by Shann Vander Leek and Ananga Sivyer. These ladies are incredibly supportive and help to take the fear out of anxiety with their wealth of knowledge via comforting podcasts and articles. They can be found here.

The Anxiety Coaches Podcast

Another great anxiety podcast hosted by Gina Ryan, who it has to said, has THE most calming voice in the entire universe, except for ‘Whispering Bob’, who’s voice can put people into a coma. It’s super informative. After trawling through these 3oo plus podcasts, there will be NOTHING you don’t know about anxiety!

Herbal Tea

There are literally SHIT LOADS of herbal teas on the market but Chamomile, Lemon Balm and Valerian are the ones that work the best with anxiety. Always check that herbal stuff doesn’t faff about with any medication you are on, as in, interactions. Herbs are incredibly beneficial but are also greatly underestimated. For instance, I took St John’s Wort once. Like an idiot, I took more than the recommended dose. It was just a herb, right? What could possibly go wrong? Then I went out and drank ONE glass of wine. The next thing I remember was waking up in bed with just my bra and pants on. I have NO recollection of what happened in-between. Such is the power of herbs, so respect them, yes?

Magnesium

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Magnesium is THE original chill pill but food processing strips this mineral out of our food, therefore many people are deficient. Magnesium plays an important role in biochemical reactions all over your body. To put it bluntly.. if we become severely low in magnesium we are in the poo poo. Stress depletes magnesium so it’s an idea to supplement our diets when struggling with anxiety. You must first check with your GP or pharmacist that magnesium will not interact with any medication you are taking. Unsurprisingly (to me) many people’s anxiety has miraculously disappeared after a few months of taking magnesium. This is because low magnesium levels can actually the CAUSE anxiety symptoms in the first place. Who knew?

I used to take a supplement but frazzled my brain with the carbonate/ citrate argument. What’s the difference? Well, I’ll tell you. Basically, carbonate is cheap and ‘orrible whereas citrate is more expensive but easier on the stomach. Problem is, the tablets tend to be the size of horse pills and I had a few ‘near choking’ episodes until I bought a pill cutter. This sorted out the choking issue but the rough edged tablets didn’t slide down the ol’ clackeroonie without me feeling like I’d swallowed cat litter, NOT that I’m prone to doing so. Haven’t got a cat for a start. Anyway, I gave up taking them. HOWEVER, I’ve recently discovered magnesium oil – so the problem has been solved. 🙂

Matt Haig

Matt Haig writes fantastic stories but some stories are more important than others. Reasons To Stay Alive is one of THOSE books which has the power to save lives. Matt knows about anxiety and depression because he’s lived it. This is his story of how he came through crisis and kicked the arse of the illness that almost destroyed him. GPs would do well to advise people to read Reasons To Stay Alive before (or alongside) the obligatory medication. If you are struggling with mental health, READ THIS BOOK!

Humour

If there is one thing that fear can’t stand, it’s humour. It’s like Harry Potter waving his wand and giving it some Expelliarmus – which by the way is a disarming spell. That’s exactly what laughter does to fear. It DISARMS it. Humour is THE most important part of my anxiety-arse-kicking kit. I watch funny films. I read funny books. I listen to funny people. Most importantly, I take the piss out of my anxiety. Laughter is therapy.

And it’s cheap.

Relaxation

Relaxation is important, whether it’s having a doss on your bed or basking in the summer sun with a good book. Here’s the thing though. It’s hard to relax when you have anxiety because of the stress hormones. Imagine drinking six Red Bulls, five espressos and swallowing a pack of Pro Plus, THEN trying to relax with a good book. Not going to happen. Why? Because you’re buzzed off your kahunas – that’s why. THAT’S what it feels like to have my degree of anxiety.

You need to do techniques that relax your body, such as deep breathing exercises and mindfulness. Breathing is important. I mean, obviously, because NOT breathing equals being dead (or unconscious) but I’m referring to shallow breathing which exacerbates anxiety symptoms. Breathing dodgers like me can keep this shit up ALL DAY LONG. This is why I’m a regular at A & E innit? Having hyperventilated myself into the MOTHER of all panic attacks.

Keep reminding yourself to B R E A T H E.

Mindfulness

I was wary of mindfulness at first. Staring at teabags wasn’t my, er, bag but I think I was taking things a bit too literally? Mindfulness is about being in the moment. So often with anxiety and depression our minds are in the past or the future. Rarely are they in the present. We exist, rather than live. I have had so many moments stolen from me due to this illness and it’s obviously regretful but there is no point in dwelling it because that in itself takes me away from the here and now, innit? Mindfulness has been scientifically proven in reducing anxiety so what are you waiting for? Be at one with your cheese sandwich. 🙂

All these things have helped me in my fight against anxiety. I hope they can help you too.

GO FORTH AND KICK YOUR ANXIETY’S ARSE!!

CC Image Via Flickr

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