Autism: The Dark Side

Generally, I have found autistic people to be supportive and friendly, but over the past few years it’s become apparent that the autistic ‘community’ has it’s fair share of.. how shall I put this?

Arseholes.

You see, there is this so called ‘war’ between the neurodiversity movement and the Autistic Dark Web and, believe me, dark is what you get. So switch on those SAD lamps, folks and I’ll take you to the dark side..

What is The Autistic Dark Web?

The Autistic Dark Web is a group of autistic people who find little or no positivity in being autistic and most would rip your arm off for a cure, though I doubt even they would thank you for a bleach enema! 😮

I visited the Dark Side recently and it was, erm, unnerving. It suddenly went icy cold and It was as if all the happiness had gone from the world.. or am I confusing it with the Dementors in Harry Potter?

How To Spot A Dark Webber

  • The rapid drop in temperature when you engage with one. (Brrrrrrr)
  • Dark images. (Menacing looking figures wearing hoodies)
  • Images of Buddah (Bit of a misnomer)
  • They often answer your question with a question. (Avoidance strategy)
  • You point out that they haven’t answered your question.
  • They belittle you by saying that ‘your’ effing inept at communication’.
  • You suggest they check their grammar before insulting others. (low blow, but what the hell)
  • They lose their shit and block you, but not before they call you a banker (intentional typo) one last time.

To be fair, some proponents of the Dark Side are able to debate without resorting to abuse. They are clearly articulate, but even then there is an air of superiority about them that prompts bile to reverse itself up one’s oesophagus and into the mouth. You get me?

But there is one subject in particular which has most dark webbers foaming at the keyboard and that is self-diagnosis.

Examples

“Stop speaking over autistic people. Plus stop promoting self diagnosis, it’s still dangerous.” ~ Twitter

I engaged with this delightful young lady and she called me a swear word that rhymes with punt. 😮

More?

“i dont get why people think they can self dx autism cuz when i was diagnosed they had to ask my mom about my early childhood that i dont remember at all” ~ Twitter

The professionals would have had a hard job asking my parents about my early childhood seeing as they were both dead. Aside nabbing the nearest medium and summoning them up via a seance – there wasn’t a whole lot I could do about it either, but, surprise surprise, I still got a diagnosis.

How about this one?

“People give me headache. If someone tells you they felt ill for a decade and never addressed it save for adding it as selfidentity either they are lying or need to be seen as victims. I thought for years autism may explain things but never identified autistic until dx. #respect #” Twitter

Autism isn’t an illness, but it’s a popular argument over at the Dark Side and one dark webber used a brain tumour as her argument as to why it’s wrong to self diagnose. Is it a credible argument though?

Nope.

If you think you have a brain tumour, you generally see your GP and pronto or risk dying. To my knowledge, nobody has ever died of autism. Autistic people are at a higher risk of dying earlier due to co-morbid conditions (not to mention the strain of having to deal with pillocks on social media) but autism itself can’t kill you. A brain tumour, however, can render you as dead as a dodo!

There are valid reasons why people self-diagnose such as accessibility, lack of money for a private dx and having autistic children whose needs come before their own. It should also be noted that diagnosis isn’t always beneficial. However, the dark ones claim that the real reason people don’t go for assessment is because ‘they know they won’t meet the criteria.’

Say wuh?

Then there are those whose debating skills just blow you away..

“Get tested or shut the fuck up.” ~ Twitter

Personally, I think this should be the tagline for the Autistic Dark Web.

As it is, I self-diagnosed for four years. The reality is that most self-diagnosers go on to receive a formal diagnosis, but simply being understood by another human being is enough for some. However, you won’t receive any support from dark web types who categorically state that you are NOT autistic until you have an official diagnosis and, what’s more, you have no business identifying as autistic!

Then there’s this.

“#autisticdarkweb I’m going to say it. If someone is married (or in a relationship), has children, has friends, and a good career or job, then they are not autistic. And should not be diagnosed as such because they are obviously not disabled by their ‘autism'” – Twitter

*sets fire to diagnosis papers*

In response to the above tweet – I’ve been married twice and I have three children. I’ve had five jobs over my lifetime and seven ‘real life’ friendships – none of them instigated by me. I’ve also had two eating disorders (A+B), a nervous breakdown, anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, chronic illness, IBS, chronic migraines, sensory disorder, insomnia and so on and so on..

At this point, I’d like to underline the living shit out of the next two sentences. Alas, WordPress only allows for one..

It’s the anxiety and the eating disorders and the chronic illness and the depression and the mental breakdown etc which gives a clue as to how hard it’s been to achieve all of the above.

In that person’s opinion, I can’t possibly be autistic because I tick most of those boxes. But the problem with ticking boxes is that it doesn’t account for the gargantuan effort it takes for an individual to achieve such things. Nor does it account for the cost to mental and physical health. Being a wife and mother doesn’t make me any less autistic – it just means that I’ve had to work hard to accoumplish it.

I’m also the mother of a really amazing autistic boy who has had many challenges to overcome in his nine years, including experiencing a hate incident at eight years old. But I don’t hate autism and I don’t hate being autistic because I have nothing to compare it to, so what’s the point?

To the dark webbers who claim that I’m not autistic because I have a family and don’t hate myself.

I didn’t expect to experience abuse or exclusion by other autistics. Granted, this was naivety on my part because autistics are clearly no different to neurotypicals when it comes to conflict. This is because humans are hardwired to fight. That said, conflict takes a lot more out of hyper-sensitive autistics like me and so it’s with regard for what remains of my sanity that this post draws a line under my interaction with the Dark Web (and Twitter) as my month off has led me to realise that it’s bad for my mental health.

Having been frost-burnt by several dark webbers, my advice is to leave them well alone – the hardliners more so. But should you decide to venture over to the Dark Side to take a peek for yourself, I suggest you wear your thermals.

However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. ~ Stephen Hawking

 

15 thoughts on “Autism: The Dark Side

  1. Pingback: Autism: The Dark Side | Inside The Rainbow – International Badass Activists

  2. I’d “Like” two or three times if I could. That said, I hope you were just exploring the dark web and aren’t continuing to engage. There are fanatics and extremists everywhere, and people who believe their personal experience applies to everyone. This isn’t just an autism problem. Which doesn’t really say much for the human race, does it?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi. I did engage with some people for a couple of days, but they refused to acknowledge any opinion but their own. I don’t have a problem with that, so much as the way do it. It started with me responding to a comment about self-dx and the user called me the C word. She wasn’t the only one who was abusive. All the people I engaged with were abusive. So, I am autistic and I have this need to research stuff – hence I checked out the hashtag and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I came off Twitter for a month after that and now I’m off it completely. The problem with Twitter is that even if you mute and pick and choose, you still see stuff via other people and I am reactive. I had such a hard time at school and in life generally before I was diagnosed, but I know that I have been naive in thinking that the bad stuff would go away. That’s not the reality at all. But don’t worry, I’m done with the Dark Side. I’ve said my piece and I hope that people understand that they don’t represent me. Thanks for reading and for commenting. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I get what you were saying because you experience it and you want answers to the dark sides of the Autistic because you are also battling to overcome that. But as you know, with every situations, there are always branches. If you seek on the dark sides, it will sprung to a new branch, and you can get lost. But if you seek for a twist to overcome positively then just keep feeding yourself with that thoughts. I appreciate your honesty. But I am one with you to see the light our from the dark sides of Autism.

        Like

    • @marandarussell I’m not sure why any of this should be surprising. Autistics are humans before they’re anything else. There is no group immune from from human failings. I consider it a real danger that so many on the spectrum are treating it as if it’s some kind of superpower, or acting as if being autistic is superior to being NT.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Catana, I get your point, but it is just that when you are autistic, you feel you relate more to other autistic people in some ways, so seeing some that are cruel and hateful is disturbing. I wasn’t insinuating that autism makes you perfect or immune to flaws, I just hate to see people I consider “my tribe” making such horrible decisions. As a human, I hate to see anyone filled with hate, but it stings even more when I see someone who shares great commonalities with me doing so.

        Liked by 1 person

      • This is how I feel too and being highly-sensitive makes it more disturbing – like a horror movie, only this isn’t fiction. I know that I will be affected by what I’ve read for a long time to come. That said, with the amount of researching that I do, I am astounded that I haven’t come across this before now!

        Liked by 1 person

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